As a busy farmer, every now and then I come up with a time saving device that I’d like to offer to others for their consideration. Here it is: I’ve given this a lot of thought and I think that matching socks is an expectation foisted upon people by the sock industry and I have decided to no longer be victimized by their oppressive social manipulation. Who made the rule that donning unmatched socks was a social faux pas, anyway? I’ll tell you who! The Sock People, that’s who. And why? Because perfectly good, but unmatched, socks by the boatload are thrown away each and every day, filling up our landfills and our childrens’ environmental futures. Those unnecessarily discarded socks have to be replaced, with the only beneficiary being, you guessed it, the sock people. Oh, there’s more. Have you ever stopped to consider the opportunity cost of all that time you have spent MATCHING socks? I bet you haven’t. Well, I have. And it’s a boatload, there, too. I say, let’s spend our time in productive pursuits, not wasting time matching socks…when doing so fails to benefit the end consumer in any real way. Rise up! Defend yourself against the machinations of the sock industry. Red with White, Flowered with Plaid. Proudly display your solidarity against the sock conspiracy and save your valuable time, your sock budget, and the earth!
Next week: why making beds is a waste of time.